Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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