They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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