i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think i have herpe
just one?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
