Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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