What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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