I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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