Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
