Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
