Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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