Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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