He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
