worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
