it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
