Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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