i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize