im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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