There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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