Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
