i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
