pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
