i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
