PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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