A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
When are your genitals available?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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