Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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