Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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