I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
