just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize