I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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