It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
