Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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