quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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