You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
