idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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