the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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