Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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