omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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