Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
