It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
