just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
