need another drink. this is the easiest way
In the future we'll all be gay
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
