Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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