found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
