Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
