You're completely useless in the revolution.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
