Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
