this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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