Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
