these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
