She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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