One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
