Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize