Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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