Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
