I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
