He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
