he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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