That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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