I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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