Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
