And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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