apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
