I wish i was in the wii world.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
