butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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