i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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